The month of December looked quite different from the months we had previously experienced on the mission field. The twelve of us who remained were given the freedom to choose how we would spend that time. Many ideas and dreams were shared; plans were made and hopes were held. Ultimately, however, our leaders invited us to pray, listen, and ask the Lord what He desired for us.

We laid down our own plans, desires, and our efforts to strive so that we could instead be filled with His hopes, His dreams, and His life. The Lord met us generously - with words, visions, quiet knowings, and peace. As we followed His lead, we traveled through Italy, continuing to pray and ask Him to reveal more.

Each day, we grew in asking the Holy Spirit to guide us: who to speak to, where to go, and what to do. And then we listened. As a community, our words often aligned, and I will never forget the moment when the Lord gave all of us the same clear direction - to leave Peschiera del Garda on December 27th, and the words he laid on our hearts that then came to fruition. Even when the direction wasn’t fully clear, He met us where we were at.

How do we know it is God and not our flesh that we hear?

The key to it is alignment with the Word of God and the peace of the Holy Spirit. Whenever I chose obedience to His voice, it led to life, rest, and peace. When I followed my flesh, it led to emptiness, burnout, and restlessness. I began to see clearly that rest is where the Lord is, because no matter what life looks like, it is the Lord who gives rest. 

“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.” 

- Psalm 23:1–3

These pastures are not always soft grass; sometimes they are fields of rough straw where the Lord still invites us to rest. Christ’s rest is often found in the middle of chaos because that is when our eyes are drawn to it. When the Lord is present, rest is present. When rest is abundant so is the Lord’s voice.

We are always invited to lean into His strength. If you are anxious or burned out, pause. Breathe. Slow down. Let God work. He is working when we are still. Often, that is when He moves the most. Growth happens when we lean on Him and keep our focus on His glory rather than our productivity.

“For you are my rock and my fortress; and for your name’s sake you lead me and guide me.”     

- Psalm 31:3

Through listening prayer over the month, the Lord often highlighted areas in my own heart that needed attention - or areas of ministry within our squad. He reminded me of His love and gently called me to keep my eyes fixed on Him. To take thoughts captive, to pray continually, and so much more to mold my heart more like His. I can’t even explain all the ways he has worked to refine me. 

During this time, I realized how easily we equate ministry with constant outward service. We stress and strive for purpose, believing ministry only counts if it looks productive or sacrificial. However, when we only focus on external ministry we miss the internal ministry that will overflow into the external.

Life is ministry, and ministry is life.

Constantly pouring out without being refilled is not sustainable. What we need is a continual filling of the Holy Spirit, so that our lives become a natural overflow of God’s goodness into the lives of others.

That raises the question: how do we find balance?

During the winter months, many places of ministry we hoped to serve were closed. At times, it felt like we were trying too hard to pour out, when what Jesus wanted all along was for us to spend three weeks sitting at His feet. Some might say, “That isn’t ministry.”

How can we pour out when we haven’t been filled?

Service without God is empty. True service flows naturally from intimacy with the Father. The source is God’s prior work in our hearts. When service becomes burdensome, it’s worth asking where our strength is coming from. What are we leaning on?

We need to be filled in order to pour out and the desire is that it circulates naturally - into an overflow. 

OVERFLOW looks like pouring coffee into a mug past its brim - so full that it spills over and touches the cups around it. I pray that the Lord’s outpouring in my life would be abundant enough that it splashes into others’ cups, to the point that people can’t tell it’s me - only that the overflow is of God.

The filling looks different in every season, but preparation is just as important as action. Chasing after the heart of Christ always leads to abundance.

Throughout December, we were invited to be fully present - neither caught up in the past nor anxious about the future. It was a time to step back from chaos to rest and reflect. That can sound selfish, especially on the mission field. 

However, what ministry was needed in that season looked very different from how ministry is usually conveyed. 

“Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet.”

- John 13:14-15

So, as Jesus teaches us, we need to let Him wash our feet before we go and wash others feet. Ministry is meant to be a natural overflow, not a striving for action. Jesus looks at our hearts not our performance for Him. He came to serve, filling us so that overflow is the product. 

“‘Martha, Martha,’ the Lord answered, ‘you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better and will not be taken away from her’”          

- Luke 10:41-42

Just as Mary chose the better portion, I want to choose the same. That is what I’m carrying with me - not only into this next season. Into Mexico, Guatemala, and El Salvador. Not just into 2026, but into the rest of my life.

So I leave myself - and you - with these questions:

Where am I burnt out? What am I trusting in?

Am I focused on performance or relationship?

What do I need to surrender or step back from, in order to realign myself with the heart of Christ?

Now that I have had this reflective time, our time in Mexico has barely started out, yes busier but also sustainable, fruitful, and life giving. And now, even in the chaos, there is rest.